


Fix You

by goldporcelain



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 07:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldporcelain/pseuds/goldporcelain
Summary: Siebren de Kuiper was successfully rescued from Talon a long time ago, but is still mentally unstable and in the process of healing. You are his apprentice, ready to help him at any time with his laboratory work. Or, at least it appears to be so..





	Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> a little bit of self-insert on the reader part, i would very much like to comfort sigma myself seeing everything he went through;; this is just a burst of comforting ideas that came to my head  
there are multiple song references in this fic! the title is referring to Coldplay's song "Fix You"

“This is working out quite well, isn’t it?”**  
**

A little spin of a pen on his fingers, a little smile on his mouth. Siebren knew he was doing magic and played a little game of pretending to be a real magician - with this long “wand”, doing circular patterns in the air with it, as if he was casting a spell.

You were only a few footsteps away from the scientist, wiping the old equations he’s written before from a whiteboard, and - you absolutely can’t stress it enough - his handwriting looked like a painting itself, apart from the absolute work of art it has supposed to help to construct. There were questions marks, little dots and arrows everywhere, as much as little sketches and supposed staged of progress of his new invention. Breathing out and taking only a small step back, you decided that that’s going to do for now, there is plenty of clear space for the scientist to work on already, and you’re sure that right now he’s ready to show you a part of what he created, as usual.

After turning your head slowly and tiredly to look at Siebren, you meet his eyes, which happened very rarely, if anyone had to ask you. The man can’t look you in the eyes for long, as he can’t establish eye contact with anyone for long now, but you absolutely don’t blame him for that.

You never blame him for anything.

In fact, that was a crucial part of your job here. From what it might’ve looked like, you were his apprentice, or his student at least, taking care of all sorts of things around him, related to his job. You brought him instruments when needed, you searched for things when he required them in urgency, you would sometimes clean the equipment (and it didn’t bother you doing it in the slightest).

But that was only a cover-up. Your actual role here was, in fact, quite different.

You were a volunteer to participate in… the latest years of Siebren’s life. Aside from taking care of his surroundings and some parts of his own job, you stepped up to take care of _him_ as well.

You are quite of a scientist yourself, but not a stereotypical one. In actuality, you study people in a group and cognitive behaviors of a singular person. Upon taking in consideration your future career, you stumbled across Dr. Kuipers work. Completely astonished by it, you wanted to take a look deeper and understand the person behind it, the one who’s done this massive research and put a new path for humanity, the mind that was capable of more than anyone you ever met.

But as you discovered more and more sides to his story, you realized that something’s not quite right, though.

Many things were not right, in fact.

And they were all are equal to small mistakes within a complex equation that won’t let it work as it’s supposed to, except there was no way to fix it. You would always come up with the wrong result.

_Always broken._

You met his eyes, finally, of course you were thinking only about the precious eye contact with Siebren, weren’t you? You’re not surprised that your thoughts have trickled down to recalling recent events, both from your life, and the tragic life of someone who just happens to stand in a little distance away.

He was taken by force, internal and external. What he has discovered - a mystery, known only to a single man, a man without his normal life to come in the future. They took it away. Friends, perhaps spouse, kids, grandkids, a job, family, celebration, traveling, world, but most importantly..

Happiness.

_They took away his happiness._

They put him inside 4 identical looking walls. By internal and external power, he was forced into walking in circles every day, with no contact to humanity. What he had was so similar to a hamster’s environment in his beloved cage - food dispensers, water bottles. Medication. Everything surrounding him was.. white..

Until he started seeing things.

_And hearing things._

“What’s on your mind?” Siebren was staring at you for more than just few moments, and your gaze stayed in the same blank state it was. You shook your head. Coming back to reality once again, you thought about smiling to him to ensure him that you’re fine. However, you didn’t. You were always emotionally strong, but you still could’t manage to lift the corners of your lips in a positive expression after bearing with the thoughts about Dr. Kuiper’s trauma.

Oh no, you, by any means, couldn’t claim that you can feel what he feels, or understand what he felt, ever. His feelings are beyond any human to understand.

You took a seat on one of the tables, just a little walk away from where you stood. Feet not touching the ground, you carefully observed what Kuiper was planning to do next.

And yes, you did have to do it carefully, because he had enough of people watching him already. And still does, _except you can’t see them._

But, you were absolutely sure that you’re the only_ real _person he had around, and would gladly explain him that if the scientist started seeing _others_ again. After months worth of time around Siebren, you knew exactly how to socialize with him, him being in any emotional state.

“I was just wondering if I’ll get to see you test your creation”, his face changed to a calmer, softer expression as soon as he heard your voice, and you might’ve had a clue why.

You’re the only one to talk to him so friendly in years. _Decades._

“Right.” He smiled at you, strangely, because he doesn’t smile first to anyone. Ever._ Just how much happiness you bring to his mind by a simple conversation?_

“I might set this off, shortly, after I.. Maybe, check if this part here works too..”

The scientist kept looking for something, examining as close as possible, then held the small machine, then spun it in his hands, and put it down. You started to notice something unusual: he’s muttering words so quiet you couldn’t really understand what they meant exactly, he was frowning at nothing, he started walking around too fast.

His hands were shaking.

“No, no, no, no! This can’t be working at all!” Kuiper threw a quick glance on the surroundings, overwhelmed and nervous, his eyes darting in different directions now. “I made a mistake somewhere. I definitely can’t let this happen. Did they make me do it again? _What is this for?_”

Siebren looked at you, at your calm and organized facial expression, and you could hear his breathing, that has quickened in a matter of seconds, echoing in the small walls you were together in.

“Maybe I didn’t want anything to work at all in the first place. What if this was my plan all along? I can’t show you, although I want to, but I-”, slamming his fists on the table and making instruments and gears jump on it, the scientist cried, “_**Don’t want them to control my mind again!**_”

“Nobody is here, Siebren. Only you and me.” You speak for the first time since he started breaking down, still having the same calm demeanor and peaceful aura around you. “Nobody doesn’t know what you’re doing, because nobody is watching us.”

It was true. Both of you weren’t in a glass chamber, nor in a secured or guarded space. They were no cameras or watching devices.

You still remember the day he saw a camera recording something in the upper corner of the room you two were in. It was definitely working, from Siebren’s words. You had to prove him, that it didn’t exist, climb up a ladder, put a tape in front of the lens so it wouldn’t film anything at all. And only then he said it disappeared.

He smiled to you first that day.

“But what if I was obeying the orders in my head all this time I spent on this machine? Is this even safe to use? I have no idea at all! I hear people constantly telling me that I should escape, because somebody’s keeping me hostage, and I have to destroy all of this place, and!..”

His shaking voice _(intervening with static?)_ finally stopped, as the man suddenly shifted his eyes to the ceiling.

It was white.

_“That music is playing again..”_

As fast as Siebren sunk his head down, your heart sunk to the very bottom of your chest. This was too much already, but you knew you couldn’t help him in the beginning of it, because any interaction with his strong emotions could cause anomalies, that he was only now learning how to control. But you absolutely didn’t want for him to come to this stage.

“Siebren.”

Your voice was calling, endearing.

_“Come here.”_

When the man rushed to your open arms, he was tall enough to drop on his knees in front of you and still be able to bury his face in your chest, despite you sitting up a little higher than the ground. Kuiper’s body was trembling, twisting and turning, the emotional agony that flowed out in a physical one, the one that you’ve never seen happen to anyone at all. Your heart was pounding in fear, but only after a few moments you’d discover that his own was beating even faster, and it probably would’ve reached thespeed of sound, if only you weren’t here to put an end to this. To calm him down.

“There’s nothing to be scared of. You will stop hearing it eventually, because nobody’s playing it. It’s not real. Everything real you can hear is.. my voice..” You leaned in closer to wrap your arms around the upper part of Siebren’s torso, giving a moment to pull your hands down his arms, slightly patting his shoulders, before holding him as close as possible. “I’m a real person, and I will always be one, and I want to help you.”

It didn’t take long until you heard only a couple of sobs, that he tried to hide as much as possible. “I don’t want to be a concept, that they put evil thoughts on, _I don’t want that.._ I’m a person, I work really hard, everyday”, His eyes now were red, as he wiped his tears away, head lifting only for a split second. It’s almost like he didn’t want to show you, although you knew already that the scientist couldn’t control his emotions. “To this day, I see _“Subject Sigma”_ written on the outside of the white walls I’m trapped in, right in front of my eyes, right here, in my sight.” not being able to even pace his words, he tripped over them and breathed, but continued, ”I see the same halls and sometimes there are people looking at me, taking notes, but nobody’s staying for long, and I want to scream, and I scream so they would let me out. A-and then I start hearing them, even though _the glass is too thick to hear anything past it_..”

Kuiper rose his eyes up to look in yours, and you thought - only for a moment - that in his gaze, you saw the metallic shackles that were holding him, the almost acidic, toxic orange color of the prison uniform he had to wear in the past. The white pillows. The white ceiling.

“Everyday, I’m not dead. _There’s no end._“

His face was red.

You closed your eyes and listen, carefully, observing his tone changing, every note in his speech, like if his words were a melody themselves. You sensed, with both of your hands on his back, gentle motions of patting and grasping tighter, that his muscles were easing now, and his body was, in fact, calming down. That didn’t mean you could let your guard down too, though. You trusted him in everything, but you couldn’t trust him _his own safety._

"I’m sorry.”

You were confused now and completely off track. It was not hard to look him in the eyes now, you have an excuse - why did he think of own guilt?

“I’m sorry, that.. You have to put up with me for so long. I don’t know why you’re still here, why you haven’t given up. I don’t want to trust anyone, but I can’t help wanting you to be here when I’m breaking down. It’s a.. new, unfamiliar experience..” Another wave of shake through Kuiper’s body, and his eyes were filled with tears again. Meanwhile, you were absolutely lost.

_How much did he had to put up with everything alone?_

“My whole life”, sobbing and still trying to cover his face, Siebren didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. “I’ve been working and putting so much in scientific progress, hoping that I can deserve knowledge in the end, knowledge, that will open my eyes and gift me all that I need, but-”

“You lost everything.”

By saying this, you made him lift his head to look at your face, and you were far from as calm as before now - you coudln’t listen to all this without showing emotion, because otherwise you’d be like everyone else. Like them.

“I know many people have tried to take you, gain control over your powers, used you to-”, before you could finish your sentence, Siebren yelled in fury, rising on his knees to be higher than you and still looking you straight in the eyes,

_“They tortured me for staying silent the whole time! They have no idea that this knowledge could destroy them, like it destroyed my sanity!”_

His shout was ringing in your ears. And then the deadly silence.

You stared back for a couple of seconds, as he realized what he just did to you.

_Siebren’s eyes filled with desperate fear._

“Please, please, _please** don’t leave me**_ please, I didn’t want to scare you, please, _I didn’t mean to!_” As soon as the panic came to his mind, the anomality came to twist the environment around you, turning off gravity for all physical objects. Lifting you both up in the air.

But your own fear was non-existent, fear of anything, especially..

“Siebren.”

Your body, now floating in free space, connected with the man in front of you. Hand reaching his head, you pulled him closer, so that your forehead and nose would touch his own nose and forehead, as if you were trying to connect your minds. Breathing out, you closed your eyes.

_“I love you.”_

Your gliding in the air body stopped, as if this effect was suddenly put on a pause, and as soon as that happened, you felt his arms circling around you in response, your foreheads still touching.

“You could’ve had a normal life. Friends, perhaps spouse, kids, grandkids, family and seeing the world,” Kuiper’s words could be heard in your conscience without him actually opening his mouth, “But you spent every day seeing me. Visiting me, helping me. Caring about me, comforting me when I had those flashbacks.. Your job isn’t to _love me_, y/n.”

“I don’t want this to be my job, because it’s something more important than one. You’re more important than anything, and I do want to spend all my time with you, until I am stardust,” You knew it would catch the scientist if you used one of his own metaphors, and it did - you sensed his surprise. “You never scare me. You never do anything for me to _love_ you less.”

It also caught him every time you said “love”, which made Siebren’s breathing stop for a second, the man not believing his hearing, that someone could say that to him.

“There are plenty of people in this world, at least, on Earth, that are more than willing to offer you greater, different kind of love, and so many reasons to love them back.”

Siebren wasn’t lying.

He was so deprived from this world, it was impossible for him to have any romantical feelings anymore. He was incapable.

_Broken._

But that wasn’t a problem to you.

“It occurs to me that there are more than enough people, but see,” you made a pause, only to lift the corners of your lips, “_You’re my favorite one._”

Feeling him almost freeze, you then were pulled in a tight hug in Siebren’s strong arms around you, and you didn’t recall feeling more safe in your life.

Everything was falling in place.

“I don’t want to lose you, y/n. I thought you’d be in more danger around me, so I wouldn’t let you approach me at all, but I can assure you, that nothing will ever happen to you, as long as I am with you. I will learn to control myself for you, and your love.. To be worthy of it..”

“You’re worthy enough.”

Your gazes meet, and you both see each other smiling so unbelievably happy, still violating all laws of gravity.

_Together._

“I love you too, y/n.”

***  


Once everything was cleaned up properly, and you shifted to a cozier room than a lab, Siebren, with a single command, disabled gravity for the area around you two, and you were quickly up again.

“Now, I know it would be very sudden to ask, but I want you to sing. I find your singing even more charming than the one that the universe sings to me.”

Accepting the compliment with a quiet laugh, you sighed in return.

“Okay. This song is called _Fix You_..”


End file.
